HOW TO BECOME A GODDAMN MAGICIAN
1. OWN A TABLET PEN
2. PUT IT DOWN FOR TEN SECONDS
3. ABRACADABRA WHERE THE FUCK DID IT GO
never have I laughed so hard
Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.
Be all like, “I have a fiction paper due and I wanna be on Ernest Hemingway’s level.”
Ugh me and Hemingway. He just gets me.
I enjoy this.
true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn
why would the movie eat my popcorn
nevermind i get it
the puberty gods and goddesses bestowed joseph stalin with many gifts but development of leadership skills and the basic ability to differentiate between right and wrong were not a part of the package deal
What the actual fuck
you add the red.